"Wow, your front tires are really bald." Why yes, yes they are. Thank you for reminding me. There are several tire companies up the street if you would like to buy four new tires for me.
"Goodness, your house is a mess." Priorities? Looking for work is a bigger priority than how clean my house is right now.
"I saw an ad....gosh what was it...you'd be great at it...man, what WAS that?" Shut the hell up.
"Susie said you should go to the new office the hospital is opening."
"It's the new one." (Our hospital opens up new offices practically every day.)
"Well, just go there."
"Where is it?"
"I don't know."
"Don't get upset." Do not tell me NOT to get upset. I can get upset if I want to. I'm allowed to have a breakdown, to cry, and to be friggin' upset!
"Well, a lot of people have it much worse." Yes, that is true, BUT:
"Let me know if you need anything." Okay, I need groceries, gas in my car, and new glasses. "You know I'd help if I could."
Above all these, the silence is the worst. You rarely hear from anyone aside from the quick "how are things going" you may get in an email or text. No one calls because they think you're only going to talk about being unemployed. Actually, I want to hear from you because I'd rather hear how you are and talk about something so far from my issues so that I can feel normal again. Yes, I could call and ask what's up and suggest we do something. Once I know my free time, most have made plans. I have learned to be more spontaneous because my free time is dictated by my family, but I'm not sure anyone does spontaneous anymore. I may not have the cash to go to dinner or a movie, yet I still need and want to socialize and talk and laugh. I'm still the same person I was before I lost my job. I'm only going through a tough time. I don't have a contagious disease and you shouldn't have to put a spit mask on me while I'm with you.
I find myself here at least once or twice a week these days:
Really, I'm writing what's been in my head the past couple of days, and it's rather silly, but there is some truth in it as well. My stepmom was here yesterday to help me with something, and she asked me if I'd had dinner yet. I said I hadn't, and so the two of us went out for dinner together. She said, "I can at least get you out of the house for a while." It was such a nice thing to hear and really, she didn't have to spend money to get me out of the house. In fact, just being with me and chit-chatting was super nice. Just hearing the words and knowing she understood was relieving and uplifting at the same time.
That's all someone needs really who is going through a tough time. Your time, your company, your understanding. That's all.